The Awakening
by rmkolman
Summary: She didn't know anything about it, did she? About the power she had. How could the Force be wasted on such a useless girl?


I could feel her presence around the entire base.

She didn't know anything about it, did she? She didn't know the power she had. How could the Force be wasted on such a useless girl? She almost wasn't worth my time.

Almost.

There was something in her eyes when she looked at me. I saw it when I first took off my helmet in front of her. What was it she called me? A Monster in a Mask? She was curious about me. About who I was, how I got here. She felt loneliness; I knew loneliness. She thought Han was the father she never had. Well...same.

And she knew my fear about Grandfather. Was it so prevalent on my mind, that she could pick it right out of my head? She doesn't even know how to use her power, to wield it, yet she could figure me out so easily. I _hated_ that she could figure me out so easily.

There had been no one else capable of getting inside my head. I had been on my own for ten years, since I abandoned my pointless Jedi training and embraced the dark. But I was different than her. I reveled in the loneliness. Relying on others make you weak. There is only power. There is only control. Control is the only way to keep the light away, to not feel the constant conflict. The eyes of a young mother holding her daughter as I ordered the slaughter of her and her entire village. Those are things I must never think about.

But why then do I feel the urge to go visit her again? Just to see her. Perhaps to see if she's still there. I trusted my guards, I trusted Phasma, but then there was the rogue. Traitor. FN-2187. Who had trusted him? Who had insured his loyalty? No. I had to monitor the girl myself. If she could get into my head, she could surely get into the stormtroopers.

But _I_ wouldn't try to get back into her head, not yet. I had already felt her longing, her desire for family. I didn't want to ever feel that desire again. I wish she knew how pointless of a wish it was. That she was so much better off now that she was free of that burden.

I entered the room slowly. She had her eyes closed. Her eyes immediately popped open and her head jerked up. She stared at me, coolly. Maybe she had seen something else when she was in my head. Maybe she knew who I was. Not like that mattered. If only she knew who _she_ was. Who she could be.

We stayed silent for a long moment, looking at each other. Finally, I asked, "Comfortable?"

"I'm fine," she spat out.

"Tell me where Skywalker is."

"Go fuck yourself."

I chuckled. It had been a long time since I laughed. Since anyone had told me to go fuck myself. I should have choked her, tortured her, but I was amused. I liked the challenge. Plus, it stalled me from reporting to Snoke. From what he ordered me to do. The thing that I still hadn't decided on doing yet. The thing that I knew would end the light, for good. So I would play with the light, with her light, before I completely put it out.

"Jakku's been rough on you, hasn't it?" I asked. I walked up to her quickly. I saw her suck in her breath. I took my hand and ran it down her arm, dragging it against her skin. I liked the way her hair went on end when I was around her. The way her pupils dilated and she watched me. The complete disdain and mistrust in her eyes. Good. I didn't want her to go soft on me, not for a second.

"What do you know about me?" Her words were short and clipped, her mouth barely opening.

"I can know anything I want," I breathed, leaning into her ear, like I would suck the information out of her skull. It was all right there, everything I needed to know, but I couldn't risk it just yet. Her hatred was a powerful barrier, and I feared I wasn't strong enough. Again. I quickly quieted that fear. I didn't want her to feel it again. To use it against me. She was so close, so very close. She smelled like sand and sweat and cotton.

"Why are you here?"

"You fascinate me." Our eyes met. "Do you know anything about what you possess?"

"I know I'm nothing like you."

"I know you don't know how to control it." I was getting annoyed with her now, with her inability to even have a conversation with me about it. She could be a powerful ally, if she even knew –

"Like you exude control?" The words dripped with heavy sarcasm, and I was getting angry. This was pointless. She would never yield. I would never completely destroy the Jedi, the light. The light would never leave, as long as the Force existed…

I yanked out my saber, letting the red crackling light come right up to her face. Her eyes widened and I knew she was struggling to seem unfazed.

"I haven't killed you yet, have I?" I muttered. "I could lower this right now, end this."

She didn't say anything back. She was probably wondering if I would do it.

I released the saber and stepped back. We stared at each other for another long, quiet moment.

"You _will_ tell me where Skywalker is, Scavenger." Her eyes narrowed when I called her that. "See you soon," I added, almost softly, almost endearing, almost teasing. I left the room before I could look at her again.

I wondered what to do next with her, how exactly I would get the map out of her, but for the moment, that could wait. I had bigger things to worry about. Planets to destroy. Parents to destroy.


End file.
